Soo little time and so much to do, or soo little to do with soo much time.

The problem I am currently facing is multi faceted. 

I am in a rut.  I am in a rut because.... I am feeling lost.  I am lost because my life's purpose has turned 18 yesterday and at the age of 45 I just can't find any other purpose beyond being a MOM.  My husband I support with my love and cooking :)

But somehow being a Mom is the only thing in life that had tangible rewards.  Don't get me wrong.  My marriage is a reward, I share my life with a wonderful, loving man, and it's a partnership for life.  Being a Mom made me feel as though I contributed to something bigger, the moulding of another human being and soon that won't be my doing any longer... perhaps it hasn't been for a while already :)

Is this a mid life crisis?  Could it be an "empty nest syndrome"?.  Could it be that I am facing a few storms in my life and feel helpless as it's too big for me to be able to make any difference?

All I know is that I wake up every morning with the best intentions to declutter my home, and as all the self help TV shows, Oprah, and books tell you, your life will soon be sparkling clear... But I don't get that far, so I don't know if it would be true...

I also have every intention to finish the money earning project I embarked on 6 weeks ago, but somehow just can't find the time for that in my very empty days.

I keep promising myself that I will soon start my scrap booking again... but I just walk past my desk and..... turn away.

I have a few books that have been sitting in my bed side table, eagerly waiting to tell me their stories... but somehow it's easier to crawl into bed after an uneventful day and fall asleep with the mindless droning of the TV in the background....

At least I have accomplished one thing today.... I have finally updated my blog :)